backk.

Changed my blog address. I just feel that i really do not want many people to start knowing things that i would never expect them to know..? I may sound rude but many times i was astonished by people surprising me questions related to my personal life,and i mean very related. Hahas.
Yesterday wasn't a brilliant day. Dated: Friday, 13th. It's always this date that bad things happen. So freaky. Met him yesterday. I so seriously wish i didn't insist on having a look at that piece of paper. Somehow, because of my witfulness, i made a mess of the whole thing and ruined our day. Well actually, when i saw that sheet of paper i was truly shocked and totally in loss for words. I tried to act as if i didn't see anything and that i didn't care a heck about it but eventually he saw through me. I wasn't sure what i was feeling at that moment too. To say i was jealous , is not really that way. To say i was angry, nono. i wasn't. Maybe, maybe, I was just envious of that particular girl?? I do admit i hope the name on that sheet of paper is mine, not anyone else. He showed me a slideshow made by her and told me everything's over between them. Yup, over. And he showed me a photo of hers . So, how in the world should i have reacted? I didn't know. I was totally surprised and confused why did he show me her photo? i was like ''eh. why u tel me all these? ''. Anyway, while watching the slideshow he made, i saw tears in his eyes. TEARS. At that moment, i saw hurt, sorrows, and pure misery in his eyes-just like how i used to wail because of yeebin.
I somehow knew i made him crestfallen . I felt very guilty and bad and envious and at complete loss what to do. I knew he can't forget her totally and i felt like a substitute. Real one. I really hate this feeling.
Sometimes when i dun say it out, it doesn't mean i dun mind it. Sometimes when i mind it, it doesn't mean i must say it out. You love her, yepps. I got it. So, that's how u tell me u love me-by letting me feel i'm a silly willy substitute of her. hais.