Monday, December 7, 2009

Read this, this is for you

Since small, mummy never fails to announce that she's got a wonderful daughter.
Yes, that capable and smart daughter who always get scholarships and would still pass those rewards to her to share the family's burden.
Whenever mum buy things, she would purchase one for you even if you aren't around.
She would proudly announce that you are our role model, that we should learn from you.
You're always getting favoritism from her; from our relatives yet i would be the fat and ugly one nobody likes.
That whenever i tried to reason that you didn't do your fair share in sharing the house chores, she would simply brush it off stating that you had done a lot since you were primary four.
Don't you understand, all of us see things from different points of views.
We all say things to protect ourselves.
I could go on and explain until the cows come home , and i can assure you that this whole space wouldn't even be enough for me.
But, I wouldn't want to do that.
You can judge however you like, i can't just keep explaining because this is never ending.
At the end of the day, it's stagnant. We will just be stuck in this shit forever.
There were so many incidents that you didn't mention.
Prolly due to the fact that you only recalled the 'negative' ones.
I always dread coming home, and yes the reason is you and your 'wonderful' boyfriend.
I see myself enjoying the peace in wennhan's comfy home.
These days back home is like a total chore to me.
I get to see things that i don't wish to see,
i'm feeling all the inconvenience you once said to my boyfriend,
and worst of all, i can't even study peacefully without a day of screams/
Don't be too sure of what you see and feel.
It may all be wrong.
yes I didn't contribute my $200++ per month to mum and i spent it on my own things.
Yes you are absolutely correct on this, especially the part that i'm a cunning and scheming girl.
Have you ever wondered who were the ones doing house chores everytime when you just laze around acting like you were so sick?
Have you even realised how selfish / rude/ill-tempered you have become?
Maybe you could say i'm the reason for that but please ponder deeper,
I am just a reactor to what happened.
All those chasing after moneys, locking your own things.
No worries, i will never touch your things again - like ever.
But please stop opening my closet as and when you like, and stop acting nice and friendly just to borrow my blouses.
If deep in your heart, you really feel that i am saying things like ' i love my family' just for show, so be it.
I wouldn't ask for your trust and faith in me.
Since from your point of view, i am just some rebellious and crude high school kid befriending every single of your friends defaming you so that everyone would see you as a 'bad girl' while me, as a 'good girl'
If that's the case, i'm fine with this.
I don't mind that status at all.
Please i just hope that you would stop caring for me that way i don't want it to be.
And please get him to stop acting high & mighty because ultimately, everything will backfire.
Stop trying to fit into my family.
I know he has very good convincing powers, just use it elsewhere.
And i reckon you have never thought that, all that have happened happened simply because we are the reactors to your actions; your behaviors.
We are not trying to 'flame' or make everyone ostrasize you.
Whatever it is.
I'm cunning so i deserve all the strong and negative adjectives you use to describe me.
Period.

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